


Take Me To Church

by TESPO



Series: Now This Is Living [2]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TESPO/pseuds/TESPO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As God plays match maker and a team of friends pushes her forward, Peggy Carter will begin a somewhat daunting, often awkward, but undeniably exhilarating journey to win Angie Martinelli's heart one Sunday Mass at a time. </p><p>A sequel to "Someone New"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take Me To Church

**Author's Note:**

> "My lover's got humor  
> She's the giggle at a funeral  
> Knows everybody's disapproval  
> I should've worshipped her sooner"

“Please Howard.” Peggy Carter was on the verge of begging, which could only mean she had surpassed desperation. She lost her commanding tone days ago because Howard simply refused to follow these orders. 

He glanced up from the morning paper wary of her never ending attempts to persuade him. “I won’t erase your memory Peg.” 

“And why not?” 

“I’ve answered this before.” 

“Well answer it again.” She sounded tired and bitter and pressing. There was no more time to put if off, it had to be done before the memories shred her apart completely. 

He folded the paper delicately, pushing it to the side, opting to look at his frazzled counterpart instead. “I can’t let you run away from your past, besides I think it’s probably a threat to national security.” 

“There is no past to run away from, there’s nothing.” It came out cold as ice as she had perfected talking about the situation. She had to distance herself, completely remove herself or it would eat at her until there was nothing left. 

He leveled her with a stare, someone had to. She had been on the warpath ever since it happened, fighting, cursing and breaking down in front of anyone who got in her way. 

“Maybe for Angie, but not for you.”

Hearing that name bounce of the walls created a tiny crack in her newly formed armor and her heart ached for a moment, it was all simply too much for one woman to handle. “For the both of us Howard. I won’t put her through that again, so there’s nothing left, no point in remembering. ”

He stood up to his full height, looking almost angry, with arms crossed and a stare that could wound a man. He asked it softly but it attacked all her weakest spots. “Who are you to deny her the love of her life?” 

She didn’t know what to say, how to answer, because she had tried so hard not to think of it that way. She was making a decision for the both of them, and if anything Angie’s kidnapping showed it was the right one. No matter how it tore her apart inside it was the right thing to do. Before she could think up a reply Dottie slipped into the room just like a cat, a black cat of course, evil omens and all. 

Dottie had stayed in the Stark household after the mission and Peggy almost felt like it was a twisted replacement for the roommate she had lost, for Angie, and it made her sick. However it was the easiest way to keep tabs on the sly young woman as she worked with the SSR as a spy and informant in exchange for her continued freedom. 

“If you won’t go for it I will.” She said it nonchalantly, similarly to every other time she had attempted to light Peggy’s fuse over the past month. She gingerly grabbed a piece of toast, spreading butter on it slowly all the while observing Peggy with her signature grin in place. 

Peggy considered taking the butter knife in front of Howard and stabbing Dottie right in the neck. It wouldn’t solve all her problems, she would still have about 99, but at least Dottie wouldn’t be one. 

But there was something about her spirit that had left the moment Angie forgot her and she was simply crushed. Instead of grabbing the knife she chose to lean against the wall and steady herself with a breath. 

“God you’re boring when you’re depressed.” Dottie seemed genuinely disgusted with her. After all what’s the fun for a cat whose mouse has given up all will to live. Howard looked on; just as helpless as he was the moment he realized what Angie had been injected with. 

“I’m not depressed, I’m fine.” It came out lamely but she didn’t exactly care, she hadn’t cared for quite a while. 

Dottie scoffed and then she laughed, smile wide. She didn’t hesitate a moment. Instead she slinked right up to Peggy, putting a wiry hand on her arm, thriving on the way she jumped at the contact. “Who are you trying to convince sweetheart, us our yourself?” 

The closeness, the physical intimacy of the moment startled Peggy out of the icy purgatory she had sentenced herself to. She looked to Howard for help, but he only shrugged. “She’s got a point Peg, you’ve been on edge ever since. Why not take a chance?” 

“She’s a coward that’s why. Always has been when it comes to Angie and I guess always will be.” Her hand tightened around the muscular forearm, making sure Agent Carter couldn’t run away this time. She wasn’t smiling as she stared into Peggy’s guarded eyes, she settled for genuine disappointment instead. 

“Dottie.” Howard stepped in trying to calm the overly anxious young woman. She had been firing shots for weeks, there had enough battles in the house, and he knew Peggy didn’t need a full on war. 

“We know it’s true. It was Angie that chased after her because big bad Agent Carter was too afraid of a little love. How could Peggy possible do anything now?” She was answering Howard but her eyes remained tight on the woman in question. They were physically close, not even a foot apart, Dottie’s hand searing her arm, but mentally it was like Dottie was inside her. 

Peggy shrugged, staring right back into feline eyes, unrelenting. “She’s right.” 

That admission was cause for worry; it was complete and utter defeat, devastation, and acceptance of everything that had occurred. Peggy took both of Dottie’s hands into her own, holding them almost lovingly, and the young Russian practically had a coronary right there because she couldn’t have been prepared for that. 

“Leave Howard.” Peggy said it softly, sternly and he didn’t question her. He walked out of the room staring at the cat and the mouse holding hands wondering if he had read the stories wrong his entire childhood. 

Peggy had threatened her life and given her stares but nothing had terrified Dottie Underwood like this. It was the love lost, the care, the affection those eyes stared back at her with that made her throat dry and she barely got the words out. 

“I don’t have to be right.” 

Peggy gave the sturdy hands in her own a squeeze. Although they were night and day there was something about Dottie, something that made her able to understand. Something about her screamed that she had lost it all. She knew what it was to lose love; she knew what it was to be numb. She put it all on the line because she had nothing left to lose and so Peggy pushed her away and clung to her all at the same time. 

“Maybe you do.” 

She let go of her hands, leaving Dottie frozen in place. All she could do was watch as Peggy steadily gathered her jacket and briefcase. She offered one last, apologetic smile before leaving. 

Similarly to every other morning of the past month, the moment she walked into the office she received the most pitying glance Sousa had to offer. No one else understood her sudden lack of fire, why all was quiet on the Carter front. She was finally the woman the men in the office had wanted her to be, less of an overall nuisance. But Sousa understood and it was driving him mad because he adored the Peggy Carter that was on everyone’s case and always a step ahead. 

“Any news on her captor?” She couldn’t say her name; it just felt like glass cutting her throat as it came up. 

He watched the way she stood a little less straight, a little less firm, and delivered the bad news reluctantly. “Not today, no new leads.” 

She glared down at the files on her desk in frustration before sitting down, closing the folders, and stowing them away until anger ceased to cloud her judgment. Sousa approached her timidly, just as he had multiple times before. 

“Peggy.” 

“Daniel not today.” 

He refused to be deterred, there wasn’t enough time and so he had to push and prod. “There’s only today Peggy, we know that now better than anyone.”

“I can’t Daniel.” It was short and tired, completely and utterly honest. 

He slapped a hand down onto her desk, hard, making run-down woman stare right back. “You have to, it doesn’t matter if you cant because you have to.” 

Instead of replying she stood and briskly walked to the small kitchen area within the office to prepare a cup of coffee. Caffeine was all that could fight the migraines that seemed to come in waves one right on top of the other. Sousa followed her, like a determined puppy, like little Howard Jr. who missed his other mother. 

She steadied her incessantly shaking hands, not gratifying him with a look. “There’s nothing I have to do.” 

“You’re just going to settle for this, is this living to you?” 

His question was cutting but she focused on the task at hand, placing the hot cup onto the counter. “I’m alive aren’t I?” 

“That’s not enough for you, not anymore. You know that.” 

She sighed at his determination, she had once admired him for it but now she wished he would let things be. She turned to him, practically pleading. “I’m working her case. I’m working our cases. I’m doing what needs to be done.”

“You’re taking the coward’s way out.” He looked at her with such sincere disappointment, arms crossed and eyes hard. 

She was fed up with being demeaned, with being called weak, even if it was true and so she picked up her coffee and began to walk out, calling over her shoulder. “Ah so you’re questioning my bravery also?” 

“Angie would be disappointed.”

Hearing the name, hearing the context cut her deep inside, opened wounds that had barely begun to heal and she turned to face him, a silent standoff.

“Don’t you dare.” It was quiet, controlled, but violent all the same. 

But he did, he would always dare, he would take the chance if it meant doing the right thing. “I may not know everything, but I know she loved your fearlessness. You made her feel invincible from what I’ve heard, and now you’re too afraid to fight for her.” 

“Maybe I’m brave enough to keep her out of harm’s way.” It was hard to hold back the tears, but she had to in the office. Someone had to realize what a sacrifice she was making; that she had to do it for the both of them. 

“Maybe you’re just keeping yourself out of harms way.”

The intent in those words almost strangled them both as their colleagues walked by, completely unaware the two were entrenched in their own war. Sousa had never been one to stomach that sort of aggression, even though she needed to be pushed he regretted being the one to do it. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Aren’t we all?” She couldn’t be angry with him, she couldn’t really be angry at all and so coffee in one hand, files in another she left him standing there, helpless. 

It was only around noon when she simply couldn’t read another word, follow another lead, or continue to cling onto the hope of finding Angie’s captor. It was work that allowed her to focus but it also took a toll on her mind and body. She clocked out early, after all the extra hours she had put in no one even questioned it. 

A mere thirty minutes later she found herself hesitantly walking into the far too familiar halls of the Griffith with Mrs. Fry patrolling the front, ready to greet her with a warm smile that told stories of far better days. 

“Miss Carter.” 

“Hello Mrs. Fry.” Peggy allowed herself to be enveloped in a warm hug, allowed herself to feel that nurturing warmth she had so profoundly missed. 

“How are you dear?” She asked it out of routine, but the older woman could see it on her ragged face and failing posture, she knew the answer before Peggy had the time to lie. 

She smiled at the motherly tenderness that the woman continued to show, it was weak and forced but a smile all the same. “Busy as ever, how are you?” 

“It’s not quite as thrilling as working with you and your team but I have my hands full here.” 

The two women smiled for a moment, as the air grew heavy with unasked and unanswered questions. Peggy hadn’t simply come for pleasantries that much Mrs. Fry knew. But she also knew Peggy had to do this herself, no one could take the steps for her, and so they waited in silence. 

Finally she pushed herself to ask the question, slow and timid. “How is she?”

The agent almost winced just saying the pronoun, she couldn’t even fully make it to saying Angie’s name and it was painful to watch. “She’s just fine, still connecting some of the pieces. You should talk to her, ask her yourself.” 

Peggy sighed, everyone seemed to be pushing her every which way toward Angie. “She doesn’t even know who I am.” 

“You’re not the type of woman someone can just forget Miss Carter.” 

“Thank you Mrs. Fry, but I don’t think Howard’s serum took my personality, or our time together into account.”

“The heart, the heart remembers.” It came out sweetly, with the wisdom of many years of living and loving and Peggy wanted so badly to believe her. 

But hope was poison, she had learned that much. She shook her head to push it away, first rubbing at her temples then the back of her neck, attempting to relieve herself of the immense wait that had been put on her shoulders. 

Seeing a woman once characterized by confidence and purpose so despondent made Mrs. Fry ill, this was simply not the way things were meant to be. “You can’t go on like this.” 

“I know.” Peggy finally admitted defeat, she didn’t know what to do but something had to change and she looked to her elder in pure desperation. “I have no peace of mind, night and day, it’s tearing me apart.” 

“Perhaps you should try going to church.”

“Church?” Her eyes widened, Mrs. Fry had said it quickly and quietly, she must have heard her wrong. 

“It’s certainly not for everyone, but maybe it can help you find peace.” She looked the tired young woman up and down and prayed it would do her some good, because she couldn’t exist much longer like she had been. 

It was absurd. She had never truly turned to God before for things like that, it just didn’t seem plausible. There was no true explanation for what had happened to her, to the both of them. Then again desperation had come to define her, perhaps she was just desperate enough to try something new entirely. 

“Perhaps I’ll give it a shot. Thank you Mrs. Fry, for everything.” 

Hands worn and torn from years of work and play reached for their strong and smooth counterparts, squeezing for a subtle moment. “Of course. And don’t you forget to visit every now and then.” 

“I wouldn’t dare.” That made her smile, her first genuine smile in a long time. It was as if she finally had a mother again, a woman who would be there no matter what. 

Once she left the Griffith she could finally take a breath. It always suffocated her to be in places that were so vividly stamped with memories of her and Angie, it always wore her down second by second. She was weak and she had read enough stories, heard enough songs to know about how God had made people strong. She couldn’t tolerate being weak and so she decided to give it a shot, to turn to the big man upstairs and hope he would stop playing his tricks and finally give her a hand. 

Stepping into the church was comforting in an odd sort of way. The light pouring through the beautiful stained glass windows, the large wooden doors, the ornate candles, it made her feel part of something bigger than herself, and for once it felt good to be small. It felt good to be a small fish in a big pond. It was a Sunday afternoon, the devoted had come and gone early that morning and the late ones would be in later that night so pews were open and only a few turned to watch her as she gently sat on the end in the far back. 

It could have only been a moment before she heard the small giggle that ran rampant, bouncing off the high ceilings and echoes. It was only a moment before out of the corner of her eye she saw a young woman rush in before the priest, mischievous smile in tact, sliding into the pew right next beside, catching a breath. It could have only been one God damn moment before the man upstairs decided he needed some entertainment. 

After a rather immoral tirade against God in his own home Peggy gathered up every last ounce of courage and dignity she had left for the day and turn to see if the tugging at her heart was warranted. It was. Angie Martinelli was within her reach, as radiant as ever, exuding vitality. And God had to have some sort of bet on her and Angie because what were the odds that two women meet in a church like this? 

What where the odds that Angie Martinelli would rush in late and unknowingly sit down right next to her former lesbian lover in one of the holiest places around? Well they were pretty slim, unless of course it was meant to be. She could deal with Dottie, Howard and Sousa pushing her toward Angie, but now God seemed to be in on it too. He had taken them both to church and who was she to deny fate? 

“Angie?” It didn’t hurt as it came out, instead it soothed her, lifting a fatal weight from her shoulders. She had started their journey all over again, and this time it would be on her own terms. 

Angie turned to her fully, only a spark of recognition jumping in her eyes, not the fire of memories that had changed her life. “English? I haven’t seen you in the diner for a while.” 

She couldn’t stop the smile that made its way onto her face because talking to Angie Martinelli, even after it all was like finally sleeping after countless hours awake, it was infinite rest and rejuvenation for her battered soul. 

“I’ve been quite busy.” 

The electric woman didn’t know what to make of the foolish grin on her counterpart’s face so she smiled along with her, ever willing to ride the waves of life as they came, whispering as the music began to start. “Come to think of it I haven’t seen ya here before either.” 

Peggy watched as everyone stood around her and responded as she played catch up, almost tripping herself as she stood, smooth as ever. “Yes, it’s something new I’m trying out.” 

Angie shrugged at the honest admission, that awe inspiring playful grin at her lips as she watched the priest begin his procession in. “Well, it’s better late than never.”


	2. Everything Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All I know is we said, "Hello."  
> And your eyes look like coming home  
> All I know is a simple name  
> Everything has changed"

She had hoped everyone would be out by the time she got home, to give her the space to clear her mind, to think over what she had done. But Peggy Carter rarely got what she wanted and so she shouldn’t have been surprised when she walked into the kitchen and found Howard sitting at the table, looking up from the camera he was tinkering with, and staring at her- hard. 

She stared right back willing him to speak and with a slight tilt of the head he did, cautious. “You seem…lighter.”

“I don’t believe I’ve lost any weight since I saw you this morning Howard.” The rebuttal was accompanied by a shake of the head before she poured a cup of coffee to calm her unprecedented anxiety. 

“You know I don’t mean it like that.” He dropped his thin screwdriver, opting for crossed arms over his chest instead. 

“I don’t believe I do.” Howard’s probing gaze was not unlike that of a father investigating his daughter’s activities, an older brother checking up on his younger sister. 

“Oh don’t play dumb with us sweetheart.” It came from the front hall and Dottie followed dressed entirely in black, looking exhausted. She must have been on an assignment in the field because bruises and scratches peppered her face but she still looked like she was coming down from a high. 

“Tough day at the office Dottie?” Peggy didn’t mean for it to come out as pleased as it had, but she couldn’t help herself. 

Dottie shot her a glare before offering a curious smile from the opposite side of the room. “Yeah and funny enough I didn’t see you there when I left.”

“Yes I had had quite enough, I had to take a bit of a break.” Leave it to Dottie to be on her case, constantly, tracking her every movement. If Peggy didn’t know better she would think Dottie was infatuated with her, not Angie at all. 

“I heard.” It came out tauntingly; Dottie knew just how much Peggy hated others knowing her whereabouts, her motives, and her life in general. 

“From?” 

“Sousa, who else?” 

Peggy shook her head in frustration, the man was simply too kind, and since when did he offer that kindness to Dottie Underwood, Russian Spy? “I’ll have to have a talk with him.”

The Russian spy in question only shrugged before viciously grabbing an apple, as if she still had to fight for every meal. “Too honest for his own good, hasn’t he ever heard nice guys finish last?” As the question hung in the room she sat on the sofa, pushing off her shoes, watching Peggy practically flit around the kitchen area. It was nothing like the downtrodden dragging feet she had seen the past few weeks. 

“So what is with the pep in your step Peggy, did you happen to catch up with any old friends today?” If the implication wasn’t obvious the daring glint in her eye made it painfully so. 

“Not quite.” Dottie had expected downright denial, Howard was barely following along and so they both stared back at her, eyebrows raised, waiting. “I went to church today.” 

The glint was gone and Dottie’s groan of disgust echoed around the large room, accompanied by an eye roll for good measure. “It’s God that’s got you on your way to cloud nine? There is just no good entertainment here anymore. I’m going to sleep.” 

Peggy prided herself on being able to fool the Russian, the only one that had been able to see through her, besides Angie of course. Then again she hadn’t quite lied, she had indeed gone to church. Dottie gathered herself up as Howard offered a soft goodnight. Howard Jr. followed her to bed; a strange fascination had developed between the two creatures, one Peggy couldn’t quite understand, because Howard Jr. was usally a great judge in character. 

Before hauling herself up the stairs she called over her shoulder mirth rampant as ever. “Next time you leave work early let me know if you’re gonna come home a nun or something.” And just like that she blended into the dark, gone for the night. 

“So church huh?” Howard’s bold personality could only be quieted by Dottie and so once she left he perked up again, letting go of a breath he was subconsciously holding. 

She shrugged off his questioning looks, he knew her better than anyone and must have sensed the change, must have felt it was big. “A suggestion of Mrs. Fry.”

“Never pegged you as the religious type.” 

“Perhaps I just never found the right thing to worship.” He was confused then because worship was left for God and Peggy Carter didn’t seem to look to God for much of anything, never mind worship him. 

“And you’ve found it now?”

She watched him watch her and he seemed genuinely bewildered, genuinely invested in her well being and there was something about the way he cared that pushed her to let him in on what she had done, in some way or another. “I believe I found it quite a while ago actually.”

“You don’t mean?” His brows furrowed in a typical look of Stark confusion, awe, and determination as he mulled the words over in his head, hoping it meant that Peggy had finally taken that leap. 

The sly grin that made its way onto her face was one he hadn’t seen in what seemed like forever and that was all he needed to be sure. Maybe she had jumped, maybe they had pushed her, but either way she was on a mission for Angie Martinelli’s heart, and Peggy Carter would complete a mission or die trying.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It had been a week of waiting, excruciating waiting and dodging Dottie’s curious glances and Howard’s incredibly, but not wholly unbelievable, crude comments. The Lord’s day had finally come and Peggy decided she would rest as ordered in the holy book, she would take off work and begin a different mission entirely. 

She arrived early for the same afternoon mass, sitting in the same exact pew that had allowed her chance meeting with the thrilling young woman she had grown to love. As she waited she hoped that God or fate, whatever powers there were would pull through yet again. 

And they must have been listening because in a matter of moments, with one quick sweep, quiet as a cat Angie was at her side, calm cool and collected. “Here again English, the spirit must’ve moved ya last time huh?” 

The smile was automatic, a side effect of being in such close proximity to such a charged spirit. “Something like that.” 

Angie grinned back, a small and hesitant one that melted away slowly like sugar does in scolding hot tea. Stormy eyes darted around the chapel, landing on the few scattered people that filled the pews. 

“Is something the matter Angie?” 

Those electric eyes came to land on her and the currents pulled in and out as Angie debated whether or not to speak, before finally allowing the floodgates to open. “I don’t know English. I just feel like there’s something that I’m-“

“-Missing.” The word slipped through shut lips without a second thought because Peggy understood, she felt it too, she had felt it ever since that dreadful day. 

Angie stared at her for a moment, curious, perhaps a bit taken back but she continued, all the more earnest. “Yeah, and whatever it is I don’t think I’m finding it here.” 

It was strange to remember all the things Angie never could, to know that she was what Angie was missing. It was strange that somewhere deep in her mind Angie must have felt something had been taken from her. “I think you might be surprised.” 

But Angie didn’t seem convinced and Peggy realized together they could answer that age old question of “Is it better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all?” And it seemed neither was, neither was better. “Huh, I don’t know I just feel-“ 

“-Out of place, out of time?” 

Her eyes lit up like the fourth of July maybe at Peggy’s understanding, maybe at how bold she was, it didn’t matter either way. “Ya gonna finish all my sentences there English?” 

Peggy was being the opposite of careful, but she couldn’t help it. Something about Angie made her fearless, brave, reckless even. Angie had always had that effect on her and it seemed she always would. “No, no of course not. I’m sorry go on.”

The hesitant young woman pushed closer to her, accelerating Peggy’s heartbeat to a near unsafe rhythm before whispering slowly, low so only they could hear. “It’s just, you ever feel like there’s a whole side of you that you’re just hidin’ from people. And you know they can’t know, but you want them to see and you want them to understand that it’s not all that bad, that you’re not all that bad.” 

Angie seemed more delicate in that moment than she ever had before, even more delicate than when she had been tied to that god-forsaken chair. Peggy knew what Angie meant of course, she knew about Angie’s past scarred with not being enough for her mother, hiding who she was, missing out on love. “Angie.” 

“Sometimes I just feel like I’m not-“

“-Enough” 

“Well there ya go again English, you’re reading my mind and I don’t even know your real name yet.” Angie looked shy and taken aback at herself for having opened up so much to a stranger. It was as if she was scolding herself for being so free. 

Peggy hated that caution because the Angie Martinelli she knew was daring and clever, and absolutely unrestrained. She extended a hand for a proper introduction. “Carter, Peggy Carter.” 

“Angie Martinelli.” She took the hand in her own holding it for a moment, as she mulled over the name, turning it over in her mind before shaking her head as if to try and make it all clear. 

“Heard it before?”

“No it’s just, I don’t know, feels like I must have known you in another life or something.” She finished it with a toothy grin, like she was laughing at herself because she couldn’t even realize how right she truly was. 

“Why would you say that?” The way Angie stuck to the name, well it worried Peggy because what would happen if Angie suddenly remembered it all, if she realized how Peggy had left her, if Angie realized how weak she had been. 

“I don’t know talking to you, something about you just seems so easy.” 

As she heard herself say it the young waitress’ hand flew up to cover her mouth and Peggy barked out laughter causing the wary churchgoers to glance back at the troublemakers in the last pew. 

Angie’s eyes had their familiar glow of lighthearted mirth as she gathered herself up enough to speak again. “Geez Peg I didn’t mean it like that. You definitely don’t seem easy if anything you seem hard.”

The response only served to make Peggy laugh harder, easy or hard at least the hopeful star had been thinking of her. “And what in the world does that mean?”

Angie only sunk down lower in the pew, covering flaming cheeks with shaky hands. “Honest to God I wish I knew.”

Once the laughter faded and the tint of embarrassment had died down from Angie’s cheeks allowing her to show her face once more, Peggy turned to her, suddenly grave. “It’s not true you know.” 

“What do ya mean Peg?” 

“You are enough and you don’t have to hide who you are.” It was a bold thing to say, but Peggy Carter had always been a bold woman. Angie had taken the lead the first time around; she had shown Peggy how to live, now perhaps Peggy owed her that and so much more.

“English you don’t even know me.” It was practically self-deprecating; it was the side of Angie that hated herself because others did, because of who she loved and what she was. 

“I think I know enough.” She said it with absolute certainty, laying a gentle hand on the young woman’s calloused fingers. When their skin touched she could practically feel the fire and she stared at Angie’s wild eyes wondering if she felt those same flames, the same sparks climbing up her arm and invading her entire body 

The way Angie bit her lip, the way she was unsure and so earnest all at the same time made Peggy want to kiss her right then and there but it wasn’t the time or the place and so she settled for squeezing her hand gently, reassuring. 

“Well thanks Peg.”

The music started up and that meant their time to talk had run out so Peggy shot her a smile instead, kind, assuring, and Angie could have sworn it was almost loving. 

After the mass had ended Angie stayed to go to confession. She explained that it made her feel lighter somehow, and some way or another she had convinced Peggy to do it too so side by side they waited in line, Peggy practically squirming. 

“You nervous English?” There was a hint of laughter in her eyes, the laughter at a novice that could only come from experience. Peggy wondered what she had confessed, what she had been sorry for when she didn’t deserve to be sorry at all. 

The agent could only stare straight ahead, indignant; after all she hated to be the amateur. “No its just not often I confess my sins to strangers.”

“It’s not a stranger, it’s God.” Angie herself had to stifle a laugh after uttering the sentiment, as others in line nodded in agreement. 

Peggy looked around at those tuning into their conversation and brought her voice to a hurried whisper. “Well what do you do, what do you even say?” 

The question made Angie smile full and bright and sad all at the same time as previous confessions raced through her mind, too many. “Trying to get my secrets out of me?” 

Peggy shrugged, nonchalant. She would have even winked but that was too forward and lord knows what her eyes would end up doing. “Perhaps.” 

Angie simply waved it off with a shake of the head. “ Maybe we’ll save those for another time, one with more schnapps and less stained glass if you know what I mean.” 

Peggy laughed at the memories the phrase brought, so many sleepless nights filled with Schnapps and Pie and more laughter and love then she had ever experienced. She laughed until Angie pushed her into the dark, claustrophobic confessional. After sorting out her surroundings she sat on the cold hard wood and tried not to stare through the tiny slit at the man on the other side. 

She searched back in her memories, she had been taught what to do practically a lifetime ago and the words came out mechanically. “Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been far too long since my last confession.” 

It sounded foolish really, like one of those lines from the movies, but she said it all the same. She could practically feel him nod in response as his weight shifted just the slightest bit, encouraging her to go on.  
“I am in love with a woman.” She said it with far more confidence, far more assurance than she had intended. Her voice did not tremble, she did not shake, yes she was still in love with a woman and she didn’t care if the whole world knew it. 

He shuffled slightly, unaffected, as if he had heard it before, as if it was a sin so many were sorry for. He began to tell give her penance but she stopped him before he could get too far. “That’s not quite what I’m sorry for.” 

And that surprised him because he had probably heard people apologizing for horrible things but how many people had he met that weren’t truly sorry at all, that believed deep down in their heart they had absolutely nothing to apologize for?

“You see I’ve done this wonderful woman wrong. I let her slip away when I should’ve held on tighter, when I should have been the anchor she needed.” 

The confession died in that tiny box as silence strangled it in a matter of moments. He thought it over and she held her breath because despite her attempts, at the core of every human being, is an intense desire for approval even from a random holy stranger in a tiny box filled with secrets of past and present. 

Then he spoke, low, steady, and incredibly somber. “Let the Lord give you the courage to care for her now.” 

It was a breath of fresh air, something akin to acceptance and his smile was barely there through the small slit but it made that box seem infinitely larger. He listened as she recited the act of contrition and he replied with the prayer of forgiveness, all incredibly honest for a change. 

He looked to her even though he couldn’t truly see her through the dark stained wood. “God has forgiven your sins, go in peace.” 

She looked right back, and even though she couldn’t see him she saw inside of him, and the sort of acceptance he had, so far ahead of his time, well it had to be the work of God. 

“Thanks be to God.” 

She stumbled out of the booth and the light was shockingly bright after the darkness. Angie stood waiting outside the booth, radiant as ever. “How’d it go English, confess your deepest darkest sins? 

“It went quite well I believe.” Strangely enough Angie had been right, more weight had been lifted from her shoulders, from deep in her heart. 

“So you're all forgiven now?" 

Peggy watched Angie in the tinted glow pouring in from the stained glass windows. She looked so pure, so untouched, but nothing could erase what she had been through. Perhaps the truth would have to come out sooner or later, perhaps one day Peggy would need more than just God’s forgiveness, but for today there was no way to be sure, in the moment there never was. 

“I suppose I’ll know soon enough.”


	3. Geronimo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Can you feel it?  
> Now it's coming back we can steal it.  
> If we bridge this gap,  
> I can see you  
> Through the curtains of the waterfall."

It had been 3 weeks of meetings with Angie at church, whispers during the service, and glances that Peggy emphatically declared had to be more than simply amicable. It was as if the natural chain of order was restored and Peggy’s change in demeanor was hard to miss. 

Being with Angie again made Peggy feel reckless, just as invincible as she had felt before that still unnamed man had changed everything. With Angie Martinelli by her side once again Peggy Carter was a changed woman, a decidedly braver one and so after mass that Sunday she finally turned to Angie, asking a quiet question. 

“If you’re not busy, would you like to perhaps get coffee or something of the sort?” 

“Gee Peg, I’d love to but I just don’t think I can today.” Her smile faltered at the end, flickering before going out just like a candle in the wind. 

“Oh, well, another time then?” It was hard to ask that question because Peggy had learned the hard way that there might not be another time, after all life rushed by and it waited for no one. 

Angie watched Peggy’s face fall for the briefest moment before laughing freely and grabbing her hand without a care in the world as they stepped out of the holy doors. “I’m just pullin’ your leg English, I’d love to have coffee with you.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The automat was surprisingly quiet for a Sunday afternoon, but then again Peggy hadn’t been there in ages and things always change. But some things never change, and Angie leading her to the usual booth and sitting her down with that mind numbing grin, well it felt like coming home. 

“You wait here and I’ll get us the good stuff.”

“The good stuff?” 

“Coffee made within the week, rhubarb pie, and some schnapps.” She looked around after the last part making sure the boss was out before winking quick and wicked. 

“Schnapps? Angie its barely past noon.” It was reprimanding but adoring all the same, it was such an Angie thing to do, it was something her Angie would have done after all. 

The hopeful star crossed her arms and huffed back. “Don’t judge English, it’s not ladylike.”

Peggy shrugged in response, slipping right back into the banter she hadn’t even realized she was missing. “Well I don’t believe drinking schnapps at noon is either.”

“Well good thing I never said I was a lady then huh?” 

“You are quite the lady Angie Martinelli.” Peggy hadn’t meant it to sound quite so suggestive but the blush that blossomed on Angie’s cheeks stopped her from even thinking about regretting it. Angie tried hard to recover quickly, fighting the blush away and lightly biting her lip before disappearing into the kitchen. 

After various things being dropped and curses muttered under her breath Angie returned with two plates of pie, and mugs, which she set down and filled with steaming coffee. It was only after surveying the room did she pull out a bottle of schnapps, pouring them each a glass. 

“So Peg, what is it you do when ya aren’t livin’ it up with me in church?”

For some reason the question caught her off guard, it was easy to forget Angie had no clue what she truly did, not anymore. “I work at the telephone company.”

“That’s what you do, with legs like those?” She said it flippantly, restlessly, but causal all the same. Angie had a way of saying something like that, meaning it, and treating it like she was just commenting on the weather. 

It took Peggy a minute to get over that line, to get over those moments where history seemed to repeat itself. “Angie, my legs don’t exactly get me jobs.” 

“Well color me shocked.” But Angie shook her head like she understood, like she wasn’t shocked at all before taking a long sip of her schnapps. 

“And what is it you do Angie Martinelli?” 

“You’ve seen me in action English, waitress extraordinaire who always aims to please.” Her grin was wide and mischievous but underneath that steady demeanor there was unrest, disappointment. 

“Yes and you’re quite good at your job.” It was a subtle innuendo but the pink tint to Angie’s cheeks and sinful grin let Peggy know she had caught it, and it was alarming and satisfying all at once. “But for a woman like you, that can’t be all.” 

Angie put her glass down, laying her hands flat on the table and staring into dark eyes, thinking far too hard. “You know English, you’re a real charmer.” 

“Oh, You don’t say?” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a way of making a gal feel special.” It came out softly, as if Angie was mulling over how Peggy did it, how Peggy pulled her from the depths of inadequacy that had held her captive for so long. 

“Perhaps the gal is special, and I’ve got nothing to do with it at all.” The word gal leaving Peggy Carter’s mouth made the commentary all the more endearing and Angie smiled gently before it slowly turned into a frown, preoccupied and disappointed. 

“You should tell some of the directors that, they don’t see my auditions as all that special.”

Peggy could see it clearly, almost the same conversation months ago but the roles suddenly reversed and so she leaned forward, trying to sound just as convincing as Angie had all that time ago. “The way I see it Angie, we’ve all got to pay our dues.”

The hopeful star leaned in too, staring, jaw clenched in a serene sort of confusion. “Huh, couldn’t have said it better myself.” And it was so strange how the words seemed to be taken right from her mouth, like a script had been written and they were just reading from it. 

The questioning gaze wasn’t one Peggy could answer so she opted to lean back and finish her pie slowly before allowing herself to catch Angie’s numbing gaze once more. 

“Besides, stars shine no matter what tries to cover them up. They always shine through eventually.” 

“You are one smooth operator Peggy Carter.” She meant it, there was something about the woman that made her feel invincible, like maybe she was finally enough. 

Peggy refused to justify that comment with any sort of reply, instead she just shook her head and together they sat in a strangely comforting silence filled with sips of coffee and a quiet buzz. 

“How do you feel about softball English?” Her eyes were bright, and that light could only mean mischief, typical Angie Martinelli. 

“The sport?” A foolish thing to ask, but the broken silence caught her off guard, and by then Peggy was used to feeling like a fool around Angie, it was only natural. 

And Angie looked at her like she was a fool all right. “Of course the sport, what else?” 

She eyed her suspiciously, the way Angie sat upright practically swaying with the electric current running through her, it could only mean trouble. “Well I don’t feel much about it at all. Why do you ask?” 

The question only made her eyes light up even brighter and they could have rivaled the sun as she stood in a sudden hurry. “Oh you’re gonna love this Peg.” 

“Love what?” She stood too practically knocking over everything on the table as she watched Angie zoom around to clean their spot, her excitement palpable. 

“You don’t have to work today, do ya?”

“No, not today.” The answer was all she needed before she began to practically skip to the back of the diner, and Peggy had to call after her. “Angie where are you going?” 

“We English, it’s where are we going?” And dear lord she seemed absolutely delighted by the idea, the idea of we, of them, together going anywhere. 

“Alright where are we going?”

“A few of my gal pals get together and play softball on Sundays. Big stress reliever and all that. I’m sure you could use it after a week with all those boys at work.” 

“I’m not exactly dressed for that kind of-“ 

“Don’t worry Peg, I got extra practice clothes in the back.” She smiled as if she had the whole world figured out and she held it right in the palm of her hand, just waiting. 

“Angie sports aren’t quite my thing.” It was partially true, running and combat were her specialties, but typical American sports as a whole were somewhat disastrous, much to her frustration. 

“With a body like yours, I’m sure you’ll be a natural English.” Before Peggy could contemplate a comment like that and stumble around like a boob, Angie captured her hand in her own and pulled her out the door without a say. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a solid half hour of play Angie and the other women convinced Peggy to try a bit of third base. They called it the hot corner and Peggy couldn’t imagine why a novice would want to start there but, how hard could catching a ball be compared to catching the bad guys? 

Well it couldn’t be hard at all was Peggy’s assessment. This hypothesis was tested almost immediately when the ball flew right to her hard off the bat. It was practically frozen in time, right in front of her, a mere moment from hitting the glove. But instead of the glove catching the ball, it was Peggy’s face that did the job. It hit her hard and she was knocked to the ground quicker than she ever had been by any criminal that was for sure. 

The other women covered their mouths in bewildered shock and awe that someone could fail so miserably. Angie however took off running and was by her side in an instant, half of that playful smile in tact. 

“Geez English, sports really aren’t your thing.” 

“Yes I believe I did tell you that.” Peggy immediately recognized the familiar warmth of blood flowing from a possible broken nose and she covered it with a shaky hand. 

Angie looked down at her surveying the damage before shrugging weakly. “Well I thought you were just tryin’ to ditch me.” 

The implication tore Peggy’s eyes from the ground and her hand from her bloody nose in an attempt to sit up, ever ready to reassure the young woman kneeling over her. “Angie I would never-“

“Jesus English” Angie watched the blood flowing from Peggy’s nose all over the place and she laughed like it was about the funniest show she’d ever been too. Peggy didn’t mind the pain all that much, not if it brought about something as staggering as that. 

She put her hand, no longer unsteady back over her nose to try and stop the bleeding. She could only let blood ruin so many outfits, and this one wasn’t even hers. Despite her protests Angie heaved her up as if she’d been hit in war and pulled her along to the bench, all the while Peggy could only manage to shake her head, trying hard not to laugh. 

“Is it broken?” Angie’s stood over her looking down nervously, still fairly under control but on the brink of freaking out. 

“It’s fine Angie, I’ve had far worse.” All Peggy could do was attempt to wave her off, but that questioning glance made her immediately regret her choice of assuring words. 

The admission made Angie pause to stare down at the woman she realized she had much more to learn about, and she was practically suspicious as she asked “You sure about that?” 

“Absolutely certain.” Peggy had to say it without looking up, instead taking a napkin to dab at her nose. She stood once the bleeding stopped using a gentle hand on Angie’s arm to hoist herself up. The field was empty by then, the other women had gone home to their families after making sure multiple times that she would live. 

“I must redeem myself.” 

“How do you propose that?” The way Peggy stood so straight and tall and determined swollen nose and all made Angie laugh so hard she could barely get the question out. 

“Perhaps my hitting is better than my fielding.”

“Gee let’s hope so.” It was such an inviting sight to see that teasing grin on Angie’s face, and it was invigorating to have it be for her. 

Peggy took a ball from the bucket and pushed it into Angie’s open hand, hard. “Oh sh and go pitch the ball.”

“Alright, alright, but don’t cry to me if I strike ya out” 

Peggy grabbed the bat like it was her gun and she stepped into the batters box as if she was on a mission, and she was, it was a mission no matter how small. Angie stood on the mound watching her, just watching before throwing the ball in. Then she threw it and it seemed like slow motion but it must have happened in a matter of seconds, the crack of the bat, and the ball flying without an indication of coming down any time soon. 

Angie had her back to Peggy as she watched the ball leave what seemed like the galaxy before spinning around, eyes wide with disbelief. “What the hell!” 

Peggy answered with a simple shrug, leaning on her bat, surveying her work. “Not bad.” 

“Not bad Peg, you could be in the big leagues with a swing like that.”

“Don’t be silly Angie.” She said it affectionately, wishing they had gotten the time to have more moments like this before everything had changed. 

Angie just stared back at her, seemingly in awe. “I’m never silly. It’s like I just pitched to Captain America or something.”

The name took Peggy by surprise but it no longer strangled her, it didn’t eat up all the air around her. To be compared to Captain America, to hear his name still spoken, well it was all she could ever hope for and so she smiled back at the woman helping to keep his memory alive. 

“No, just Peggy Carter” 

“Well I’d love to hit like just Peggy Carter that’s for sure.” She said it softly and maybe Peggy wasn’t meant to hear it, maybe it wasn’t meant to be said aloud but Angie grinned all the same, honest and raw. 

That smile, so open and engaging, it made Peggy yearn for her to be close. She had lost two lovers in a sense, and perhaps it was time she made sure she wouldn’t lose another. “Lucky for you she’s right here, she can show you.” 

The young waitress hesitated for a moment, only a fraction of a second before jogging in and taking the bat, strong and steady in her hands, ever ready to prove herself worthy. 

“Alright well, get in your stance.”

“You got it coach.” Angie laughed like mad at the notion and Peggy just sighed at the antics, contemplating how she had come to love such a fool. After calming down Angie got into her stance and Peggy pushed her arm down and moved her legs back, tinkering here and there but she just couldn’t quite get it right. 

Peggy didn’t know why she did it, but she could imagine it wasn’t her devotion to the sport of softball; it was her devotion to something else, someone else entirely. It was that devotion that pushed her right behind Angie, not even an inch away, her breath beating heavily against Angie’s back, one hand searing her shoulder and the other gripping the bat, tight. 

They stood like that for a moment, stock still before Angie turned to look back at her, eyes eager and wide and Peggy should have kissed her right then and there but all that she managed was a meek whisper. “Just like that.” 

“Thanks English.” It was incredibly soft and undeniably earnest, Angie Martinelli wanted something more, perhaps she even needed it, it was just a matter of waiting until Peggy Carter could give it to her. 

Peggy laughed at that, cold and hard to cool the situation before the fire could eat them both alive. “Don’t thank me until we see if it works.” 

Just like that she pulled herself away and jogged to the mound grabbing another ball without turning back. If she had turned back she never would have been able to leave. 

It took a few practice throws for her to pitch a strike but she did and Angie hit it, far, but not quite as far as Peggy had and so she dropped the bat in a mixture of disgust and disappointment much to Peggy’s amusement. 

“Guess you can’t teach strength.” 

They walked together to retrieve the balls that had been hit, slowly wading through the partially wet grass, and Peggy contemplated the notion. “Perhaps not the physical kind, but someone special can teach you the mental kind.” 

It was things like that that made Angie really turn and look at the young woman she had stumbled upon and never quite been able to move on from. “You’re like a fortune cookie Peg.” 

“Incredibly wise and delicious?” She didn’t even have to think out the reply it just rolled off her tongue whether she liked it or not and it hung in the air just waiting. 

Angie laughed, rather awkwardly but she laughed all the same and Peggy wondered when she had become such a bumbling imbecile that would say something like that. “Well I don’t know about the last part but wise, yeah.” 

But she did know about the last part, or she had, she had known before. Despite the time that had been stolen from them, and how much a fool she had been, Peggy laughed too because there were worse things in the world than having a young woman that she adored think she was the authority on wisdom. “How about we see if the fortune cookie can strike you out?” 

“You’re on.” If there was one thing they had in common it was a love of competition and so Angie pushed her off balance before sprinting back, leaving Peggy to quickly play catch up. They certainly didn’t mean to but they stayed at the field for hours, just long enough to watch the sunset and feel it coursing through their veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the chapter: Who would you rather have as a coach, Angie or Peggy?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back, I know it hasn't been long since I ended the last story but all your comments and reviews made me want to jump right into the next part. That being said I don't have too much planned out for this story so my question of the chapter is: 
> 
> What would you like to see happen?


End file.
